Why He Closes Off After the Break Up

This entry was posted Thursday, 3 November, 2011 at 2:43 am

So you and your partner split up. That could be a tough thing to deal with. After a split it’s not uncommon to have your mind deluged with all kinds of unsolved questions that you’re just craving to get answered.

Stuff like why he left, what you probably did wrong, why he does not want to work the relationship out, etc.

But why would he just pull away so much when you have all of these questions? Why won’t he make the effort to truly explain what occurred and what’s happening in his mind to you?

Well, here I want to explain the most important reason which explains why guys pull back following a split up.

It’s because, you have got to understand the main reason why all relationships break up. It is down to the fact one person in the relationship wants space away from the other person or from the relationship itself.

Isn’t that really why he broke up with you? Wasn’t it because he wanted space away from either you or the relationship?

Well, if that is the case, when you keep asking him questions, attempting to get closure, or otherwise reaching out to him, it really isn’t respecting his request for space.

In reality it’s quite the opposite.

This makes him feel that you don’t really understand his desire for space, and he feels like he should keep pulling away even more from you to get that space. If you do not give him this space, he’ll just keep pulling away until he’s totally out of your life for good.

Hence if you have any interest at all in learning how to get your ex back, keeping him as a friend, or remaining in contact in any fashion, I might highly recommend you give him the space he’s asking for.

I know it’s hard when you have all those questions in your brain , but for the time being, you’ll just have to let those questions stay there. You might be able to get the answers you would like from him later , but for now find a way to go on without them.

For now, focus on your own life as an alternative. Take time to do things which make you happy and that you enjoy. These will help you to feel good about life in spite of the split up and they’ll make healing a lot simpler on you also.

When you have had the time to bounce back from the split up and you have given your ex boyfriend a bit of time to get that space he wants, you can try reopening the communication channels between the two of you.

If you found this helpful, also check out ex boyfriend is ignoring me and signs your ex wants you back.