Dating Advice (i’m A Guy, So I Would Like Answers From Girls)?
Okay, this is a compound question. If you don’t want to answer it, please stop reading here and find another question. I’m pretty sure that I’ve got a basic grip on things, but if I don’t I would really appreciate a girls/womans opinion on what I’m doing wrong and what to do/try. I will also mention here that I am overweight, but I’m trying to work on it. Anyways, on to the questions!
1.) When a guy likes a girl, how should he show her? I think that guys should just tell them, because not knowing whether a girl likes me is, to me, worse than rejection. Also, if that is not ‘how it works,’ what would be other good methods? This is the part I have the most trouble with…
2.) When in a relationship, should the guy pay for everything? I know when I went out with my girlfriend, I would feel bad if I did not pay, even though she offered to. Is it normal for guys to pay for everything, or do girls usually pay for a little bit?
3.) What is the etiquette on phone conversations? I am the kind of guy who likes to either talk face to face, or text/email. I hate talking on the phone. But it seems like every girl I date simply will not talk for very long either in person or through text/email, but insists on having at least a 30min. phone call daily. Is this the norm also?
4.) Why can’t girls ever just tell me what they want? When I was dating one of my girlfriends, every day I would ask them what they wanted to do, and they would say “I don’t care…” So I would have to choose something. Then, when we took a ‘break,’ I asked her why and she said, and I quote “we never do anything I want to do, it’s always something you want to do!” Really? I asked what she wanted to do! Is this also the norm? Cause if she had answered me we would have done something she would have wanted to do…
5.) What is considered normal for PDAs (Public Displays of Affection)? I don’t mind holding hands or anything, but I hate kissing in public. Anything longer than 3 seconds of kissing makes me feel uncomfortable. In private, I don’t mind. Is this also normal, or am I just being weird here?
6.) How imporant is sex? As a guy, I will say that I would not mind waiting a year to have it. But I feel that anything longer than that is ridiculous. I know sex is more important to guys than girls, but if I’m going to spend up to a year dating a girl and pretty much giving her whatever it is she wants, is it too much to ask to have sex?
Thank you in advance to anyone who answers this! Like I said, I feel that I have a pretty good grip on things, but I want to confirm this, so that I don’t screw up too badly. And, if anyone who answers wants a guys answer to a question, post a link in your answer and I will see what I can do! Thank you!
WP Robot Wordpress Autoposter says:
January 28th, 2010 at 5:08 am
Wow, its pretty rare to get such a thorough, intelligent question. I’ll try to answer it as best as I can.
Good luck! Hope you find a lovely lady!
1. Spend time with that girl, ask her questions, listen to her when she speaks are great indicators that you like her. Treat her with respect and get to know her personality and not just what she looks like.
To let a girl know you like her is to simply ask her out.
2. The guy doesn’t have to pay for EVERYTHING but it is a very gentlemanly gesture to pay most of the time. For the first couple dates, I do expect the man to pay for dinners/movies. I will occassionally pay for everything later on when I know he appreciates it and will most of the time pay for myself when an outing is on the expensive side. When a guy shows he can pay, it shows he appreciates her company. A guy who refuses to pay for anything says to me that he doesn’t care.
3. I personally am not a big phone person and prefer to text and talk face to face as well.
Although it is fun to talk on the phone, talk about your day, etc though there is no real need to have a long conversation over nothing. Phoning to say a quick goodnight and an “I love you” is really sweet though.
4. These girls are testing your listening skills, and unfairly at that. They also want to see how good you are at conjuring up plans that appeal to the female psyche.
Yes, it is unfair to you, but with girls who say this, let them know “Hun, you know I will pick what I like to do if you don’t want to give me any input on this. I want to make you happy and would love some feedback on what you would like to do”.
5. I personally don’t like PDA either. It makes me uncomfortable. I don’t feel the need to flaunt my love in front of others. I do like holding hands and a quick peck on the lips/cheek/forehead is really sweet, but nothing excessive. I really like if we’re standing in line or at the store and he gives me a quick, warm hug.
This is certainly normal.
6. To me, sex is very important in a healthy relationship. If I really like that guy and I’m comfortable with him, I won’t wait longer than a month to have sex with him. I usually choose this long because if he just wanted to have sex with me, by this time, he would be long gone but if he really cared about my feelings and desired my body (I can’t stand it when I’m just seen as some wet hole) then he won’t mind the wait.
For sex, I need the man to be generous in bed and make sure that I’m receiving pleasure and it’s not just all about him. A man who won’t take the time to make me orgasm is not worth it.
Please keep in mind that this is just my opinion and other girls’ opinions will differ from mine on certain aspects.
WP Autoblogging Plugin says:
January 28th, 2010 at 8:05 am
1. I hate guys who directly say they like me and I also hate it when I get told by their friends, I find it thoroughly off-putting (I know that seems kind of weird)…
But I don’t mind if they ask me to “go out with them”
2. I never let a guy pay for everything, although generally it seems that the guy pay for most stuff.
In the end it really depends on the girl, as long as you don’t end up in an arguement involving her wanting to pay for herself and you wanting to pay for her.
3. When it comes to phone conversations, know when the conversation has ended there really is no point having the phone on and not talking…
Though generally whatever form of communication that works best should be the one you stick to.
I find person to person the best, IF you cannot not talk person to person for a long time you should definately NOT be going out with them in the first place.
4. GUYS DO THAT AS WELL! It would seem that the girl who decided to take a break because “you weren’t doing anything she wanted to do” was pretty much using it as a reason to break up…sorry to break it to you.
BUT generally if it bugs you so much that they won’t contribute you should mention it, or if I don’t say what I want to do it’s because I’m more interested in keeping my boyfriend happy doing what they want to do and I want to try something that I know I wouldn’t normally suggest doing?
5. In PDA I find that holding hands, hugging and the occasional peck is appropriate but I agree the whole “tongue down the throat” should be kept for the privacy of your home. Unless obviously your both comfortable with it, but don’t expect the public to be…
6. I have no clue…..
But generally girls don’t like to feel used and sometimes they REALLY want to make sure that the person they’re going to have sex with isn’t a jerk even if they are their boyfriend
Sarah says:
January 28th, 2010 at 9:45 am
1) I would love for the guy to be straightforward and just tell me how he feels about me. It shows he’s confident and really does like you.
2) You don’t have to pay for EVERYTHING. A relationship is between two people. If she offers, be a gentleman and pay a few times, but also, let her pay if she’d like too. I have paid for a date before. Or you guys can go half and half. Do something cute like say “I’ll pay for yours, and you pay for mine.” I think that’s cute.
3) I hate having phone conversations. But, if your girl insists, listen to her. Ask her how she’s doing… ask about her day, what she’s doing tomorrow, just simple things that will make her know you’re interested in what she has to say, and that will definitely make her happy and keep the conversation a little less boring. You can also text/e-mail while you’re not on the phone. Even it out a little bit.
4) I say “I don’t care” to my boyfriend ALL the time. Literally, we don’t care what we do with you, as long as it’s fun. As girls, we expect our guys to make decisions, and keep us happy. Any idea you come up with is a good idea because you’re thinking about her and trying to show her some fun. If you don’t do what she wants, give her ideas. When she says I don’t care, give ideas. “Wanna see a movie, go to the mall, out to eat?” Maybe that’ll open her up for decisions.
5) I HATE P.D.A. and I hate seeing people kiss and grope in public. A little kiss is cute, and not annoying. Holding hands, or just holding her hand is adorable and not too much. If you’re walking around a mall or something, put your hand in her back pocket and walk along with her. I love when my boyfriend does this, and I even do it to him. It’s adorable.
6) Sex is a good thing, usually a must in a serious relationship, but even if you’re in a playful relationship, sex is good. My boyfriend always says “I see sex as a bonus, and I’d be fine without it.” I know that’s not true, but it just shows that he doesn’t mind waiting for it. As a girl, I want sex too and if I don’t get it, I kind of feel unwanted. You don’t want to press the issue. Talk about it with her, or just wait until she brings up the subject.
Kiera says:
January 28th, 2010 at 4:10 pm
1) Show her by your actions not words. ie. take initiative to talk to her, ask her how she’s going.
I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. But pay for the little things, don’t insist on halving everything you buy. ie. icecream = you pay. a meal= halves.
2) You should pay for the first couple of months your going out, after that she’d probably start feeling guilty in which case you should go halves
3) Simply depends on the girl. If your not comfortable with phonecall conversations, try telling her subtly ie. “Let’s talk about this later, I’d prefer to have this conversation face to face. It’d be more fun” Something like that?
4) We are complicated mysterious creatures. We like to see whether your in sync with us or not. Ask her friends what she enjoys and take her out to something they have suggested. Alternatively, just go to a mall and see where that takes you
5) That’s completely normal, people stare when you get too affectionate and a way to combat that is just to hold hands whilst in public and at the end of the date, when you feel the need to kiss her, walk away to somewhere more private. ie. at the mall, walk outside where it is a bit more private.
6) It depends on the person. She might be against having sex until marriage, in which case, your patience and perseverance will show that you truly love her. Some just need time or to ease into it slowly. Don’t rush her, you’ll end up getting dumped. Sex is not an indicator of love. If she does not want to have sex with you, leave it. If you can not live without having sex and would rather have sex than a relationship, you need to find someone else.
Hope this helped somewhat.
kewwwwll says:
January 28th, 2010 at 9:40 pm
1) dont tell her on her face. she’ll stop valueing/liking u.
just be friendly, then a LITTLE flity, like even if it means holding the door for her, or smtn like that…see how it goes. if it builds on, only then take the next step further. You have 2 show u like her through ur body language, not ur mouth.!
2) Well, i think guys usually pay.
3) this is VERY normal. with my boyfriends, i used to get very upest if
he didn’t call atleast once a day. once, i spoke to him for 5 hours in the night. its an IMPORTANT part of the relationsihp. and, how can u not want to talk to ur gilffriend on the phone anyway? i ended up haveing a fight with my bf because he dint call for like a week, he just texted me 5 times a day =S
4) hAHA always happens. all girls are like that. they dont give straight answers. they want YOU to figure out what tehy want: P
5) i dont know, it depends from persno to person. i personallly love pda’s.
6) Well maybe it is. depends on the kind of girl ur dating. i dated my boyfriends for 2 years, and broke up without ever having sex with him. WHy is sex TAHT important? its the relatinoship that counts!