Dating Advice - Should I Get Into This?
I’m getting a lot of mixed signals from a girl I know. We’re both 26 year old college graduates, I’m black, she’s white. I know her through a mutual friend who has been trying to get me to ask her out, but I wasn’t sure if she was into dating a black guy (I already know she has only dated white guys before).
About a month ago, my friend told me she started taking a more serious interest. About two weeks ago, she gave me a ride home from a dinner party, and we ended up making out in the car.
She told me she wanted to be upfront, and that she didn’t want to get into anything too serious, but was interested in hooking up. After a few opinions on YA the other day, I asked her for a bit more clarification on what she was after. She said she wanted to an exclusive relationship, which cleared up some doubts some people had raised on that issue. She then said she wanted to start the relationship off by basing it around sex, and then we’d see what developed.
She is pretty clear she doesn’t want to settle down yet (and neither do I). This girl is very hot, has a good job, and dresses well, but she’s also a bit edgy - she smokes, she’s open about enjoying sex, and she’s even asked if I’m circumcised (she likes her men circumcised, so she says).
Is this something I should get into, or is she just going to take me for a ride?
Beery says:
January 29th, 2010 at 8:31 am
She likes guys circumcised? That’s gross! Why would any woman prefer a penis that’s been mutilated in that way? The natural penis is much better for her and for the guy - better sex, more healthy as nature intended.
I guess there are more perverts in the world than I had assumed. I had heard that some women prefer sex with amputees, but I thought it was a kind of urban legend - I’d never actually heard of a real case of it happening.
velvetpa says:
January 29th, 2010 at 10:41 am
It’s a big risk but you have no way of knowing what’s going to happen unless you give it a shot. You could get really hurt by getting involved with her if you really like her and she never wants a serious relationship with you. But on the other hand she may just not want to get into anything serious at the moment with anyone but she could change her mind later on if she really likes you. It really could go either way. You need to find out more about her as well as past relationships could tell a lot. I’ve recently broken up with someone I was really in love with and was heartbroken. I then got involved with a guy I met who I liked but was unsure about due to my last relationship and I also needed a bit of a breather so I took things easy with him, we were sleeping together but it wasn’t serious as I couldn’t cope with the pressure of anything more serious. So this could well be her reasoning as well. You need to think about what you want as well, if you are comfortable with starting a sexual relationship with this girl then do but you need to realise that it may never progress beyond that either. So if you do want a serious relationship with this girl then it’s definitely a gamble, you could get what you want or you could get your heart broken. It’s a risk but if you decide that you really want to be with her and might regret it even more if you don’t, then take it.
spazfire says:
January 29th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
Go slow emotion-wise but have fun and enjoy the opportunity. She may be a lot to handle but she might also be worth it, most likely she has been hurt a lot and doesn’t really trust guys, so shes just trying to be careful. Honestly, i said the same things to my boyfriend of two years at the beginning, and we’re still going (though the sex is somewhat less than it was in the beginning) just take it slow, show her she can trust you but don’t focus too hard on the long term, she may get there in time but there may not be one.
bazzmc says:
January 29th, 2010 at 8:12 pm
Dude, what’s the problem? It doesn’t sound like she could possibly be any clearer with you about her intentions. If you are interested in an exclusive, sexual relationship with a woman who digs it, then go for it. If you are NOT into that, and you want something more meaningful or whatever, then stay away.
Whatever you decide to do, I have to give kudos to this woman for being self-confident and self-assured enough to know what she wants and to be willing to be honest about it. By the way, just because she knows what she wants and happens to smoke doesn’t make her “edgy”. What a concept!