My Neighbor Bad Mouthing The Guy I’m Dating. Advice?
I have been casually seeing a guy for about a month now. Things aren’t getting “serious” just yet, but we have been spending a little more time together.
I have a neighbor who I am really close to. I’m 29 and the neighbor is 42. I have a huge crush on him and I’m really trying to get over it. Him and I have never hooked up or anything of that nature. We do the occasional flirting but we’re just friends. We spend a LOT of time together, pretty much 5 or 6 days a week he comes over right after work and hangs out with me for most of the night.
Lately, he has been really bad-mouthing the guy I’m “dating.” He says a lot of things that I just don’t get? I don’t understand why he does and says these things. It’s almost like an obsession and it’s getting kind of annoying.
He made comments about him living with his mom. He asked me if he refers to her as his “MOM” or his “ROOMATE.” He asked me if I text my sister and best friend the next day telling them all about my time with him. He said if he takes that girl out this weekend he may see if she wants to go kayaking because he likes to do “romantic” things with girls, not just bring beer over to their house. He was making fun of this guy because he’s SUPER into yoga and hindu.. He asked me if I was going to being him with me to our neighbors memorial as a date…
Last night he told me he went to the place the guy I’m dating is working and he saw him flirting with another girl. He also told me that the guy I’m dating is a little too nice and too persistent. He makes fun of his mustache and the way that he dresses saying that he has some serious bad fashion.
What is goin on?
kiwi says:
February 18th, 2010 at 10:14 pm
Don’t ever ever ever date the neighbor!!!!!!!!! Only bad things can come of that.
He is jealous of your boyfriend. The reason why he is telling you all this crap is cause he is trying to ruin it for you. He is jealous of your present boyfriend. he is acting like a creep too telling you all this nonsense he sounds like a not nice person. He should show respect for you and your present boyfriend. And by you flirting with im and hanging with the neighbor you are sending mixed messages. its no wonder why he is so adamant about ruining your relationship. He wants you. I would come clean with the neighbor tell him that you may have over stepped the boundaries but you thought that the two of you could be good friends and now you are wrong. I would lay low, stop the flirting with the neighbor. He must be tinging how lucky he is to be hanging with someone your age. he is getting obsessive. Stop playing around with the neighbor, get on with your life be with your boyfriend, not take anything the neighbor says for real. he is trying to break you and the boy up so he can come to the rescue for you.
I got involved with my neighbor once and it was terrible things just didn’t work out and it was hell to pay everytime i saw him. I was 29 and he was also 42. Guys like tha think they are so cool to be with a pretty young thing. And he would get so mad at me when i would bring the new boyfriend over to have dinner. What a mistake don’t date the neighbor ever!
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February 18th, 2010 at 11:52 pm
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THE GAME says:
February 19th, 2010 at 6:27 am
He s a pedophile, you should get dump your boyfriend and get it on with him.
Mike M says:
February 19th, 2010 at 10:00 am
r u really that stupid? u must be blond
High Roller says:
February 19th, 2010 at 4:45 pm
Your 42 year old neighbor is jealous. Furthermore, he should have gotten past the flirting stage with you, long before now. Why has he not made a serious move, to cement a relationship with you? No, he’s not the kind of guy you should be hanging with. He’s only a nosey neighbor who doesn’t have the courage to date you himself. You need to stop listening to his garbage. Tell him to mind his own business and stop tending to yours. You’ll be a happier person, without his big mouth in your way.
BTW: If you want to bring your friend to the memorial, do just that. Sounds like he might be a nice guy. Best wishes.
hiswife says:
February 19th, 2010 at 5:47 pm
Can you say jealous? Sounds to me like he wants you for himself and that this new guy you are seeing is competition for him. It also sounds like he is a little insecure because he has to make fun of other people. I think if you like this other guy that you are dating then maybe you should distance yourself from your neighbor. I know that you have a crush on him but if he has nothing nice to say about your new friend then you need to tell him that you don’t appreciate his comments and that you would like him to stop. If he doesn’t stop then you ask him to leave. IT is not his place to go to the guys job and follow him. If you ask me that is a little creepy.
Think about it. Make sure you do what you want because you want to and not because somebody doesn’t think you should.