Where Do I Stand: Dating Advice?
Met a lovely man who spends his limited free time with me. He says we are not in a relationship although we are intimate with each other. I am really falling for him but feel worried that I have got it all wrong. I don’t want to be heavy and demand that he’s mine but I am really into him. He asked me what i wanted from him and I said nothing. Should I have said something else. There is no long term prospects for us as his work will take him abroad in 3 years time and I am stuck in this country. Any advice most appreciated.
mraudio8 says:
January 16th, 2010 at 11:42 pm
He told you exactly where you stand with him, and you turned around and lied to him and told him that you agreed, when you don’t. You were “intimate” with him before you were in a real relationship, another sign that you “signed off” on the arrangement, even though it isn’t what you want.
Quit lying to yourself about what you want and/or what you are capable of (you may well not be capable of having a sexual relationship with someone without developing feelings; most women can’t). Don’t confront him with this; it isn’t his fault and he was upfront with you. Instead, break it off, take a good, hard look at your actions, and find someone who is AVAILABLE (emotionally and physically) if a relationship is what you want.
I’m betting you have a history of being attracted to unavailable men. If so, you need to figure out how to break that cycle, which may involve some counseling.
Might Like Sweet Better baby says:
January 17th, 2010 at 5:09 am
Sort out your head first. When asked what you want, a part of you froze and denied what you want from him. If he spends his limited free time with u, you could have a chance but i’m not convinced you feel for him. How r u stuck in this country?
Valentines gift ideas says:
January 17th, 2010 at 8:09 am
“He asked me what i wanted from him and I said nothing”
You need to fix that.
Be honest. Always.
luv2bfit says:
January 17th, 2010 at 9:16 am
You should be honest with him because you never know, maybe he was hoping you would say you wanted more when he asked what you wanted from him. He wanted to know where he stood with you and you deceived him. Now he will think you’re the kind of person who’s satisfied with a casual, sexual fling. Maybe that’s what he wanted anyway, but now he can have it guilt-free.
Exclusivity is not only a gift received, but a gift given.
Ruby says:
January 17th, 2010 at 9:28 am
Tell him you want him in your life forever, even if you can only be friends. Then let him know how your feelings towards him are starting to get a little stronger and your afraid to lose him even as a friend. His answer will be a true test of his feelings for you.
lucky? says:
January 17th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
I defiantly agree with ruby!
Sounds like your just his bit on the side.