Why Do Most Dating Books, Articles, Shows, Advice And Materials Focus On The Needs Of Women?
Why is there such little attention paid to satisfying the man? Even when a woman cheats a lot of people will say the guy didn’t satisfy her. But when a man cheats he is a jerk.
But why all the foucs on womens needs in this culture? Maybe this is one reason a lot of men today don’t want serious relationships.. whats the benefit of being in one when so many women take more than they give back?
©å®®?? says:
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Okaaaay… so in your experience, all the books and advice you’ve come across focuses on the needs of women. Well, that’s because you’re a guy, and books tend to focus on how to please the sex that’s opposite of the book’s target audience. I’m sure there are tons of books about the prostate etc, if you’d like to learn more about your own body - or buy one of those books for your girlfriend, so she can learn.
I have to say, though, I think it’s great that the female orgasm is actually being paid attention to. Female sexuality in this culture seems to be this whole big mystery. Ask a fifteen year old girl or boy what a cl!t is and you’ll probably get a blank stare… female sexuality tends to be defined in male terms in pornography and the media, so I think it’s really helpful that there is advice for girls on how to learn how their bodies really work.
BTW, when a woman cheats, she’s a s!ut, but when a man cheats, boys will be boys.
Super Ruper says:
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Your primary question is easily answered. The attention and materials are directed at women because it is what sells. Simple as that. Women are more inclined to purchase self help materials than men, so the distributors are catering to that market. If you want to make money, you need to target the market that is buying…and in this case, its women. There is no conspiracy in this case….just a capitalistic example of making money…
There is a growing market of men who are anti-women and anti-relationships…so I wouldn’t be surprised if we see a glut on the market, in the future, of books about the ‘New Rules for Men’, advising how to spot opportunists and how to get what you want without having to pay through the nose. Supply and demand, my friend…
bikerchi says:
December 22nd, 2009 at 11:36 pm
For the same reason why most porn is directed towards males.
On the surface, it is easy to say, well, that’s who buys it.
But, really, would more men buy dating books et al if there were more available that addressed their specific needs? Just like would more women watch porn if it were not just about the guys’ pleasures?
We’ll never know until some brave entrepreneur tries.
Wild Sage says:
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:59 am
I agree that there should be more dating books, articles, advice, etc. geared towards men. I’ve known lots of guys who could clearly use help in that category!
Sage says:
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:40 am
First of all, I think you’re generalizing. Secondly, I believe that women, being so much more verbal than men, are more apt to express their needs. When you ask a man, “what do you need?” you usually don’t get much of an answer. Most women wish that men would verbalize more!
I don’t believe that most people think it’s OK for a woman to cheat. Cheating on either side is wrong. If you cannot commit to one person then don’t get married.
I’m sorry that you’ve had some bad relationships. I hope that someday you will find that one woman who will be as giving as you are.
brkshand says:
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:27 pm
The moot point is,who needs whom.Historically,the number of men who went after women is millions times more than the the other way around.If agreed,then rest are minor details.You have to pay the Piper if you want to hear or listen to the tune of your choice.Another historical fact is ,as far as men are viewed in connection with women,they have always been and shall continued to be branded as JERKS.So,please let it carry on as it is and you,I and the priest can’t do any thing about it .
PortWine says:
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:54 pm
What you’ve described doesn’t bother me as much as the titles, themes, and undeniable messages of relationship books for both men and women. ‘All men are jerks….until proven otherwise,’ ‘Why men love bitches,’ ‘Men’s guide to being a better boyfriend,’ etc…
Even the Mars/Venus book has the (I’m sure) unintended message that men are selfish and women are crazy. It can be very disheartening to peruse this stuff. Men have to be very careful these days, and that’s all there is to it.
Jill S says:
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:29 pm
I think this is a matter of perception. You perceive that all these books talk about pleasing women, however I feel there are an equal amount of books showing women how to please men.
Men need pleasing in a more physical way. Women need pleasing in a more emotional way. It’s really simple. If the man realizes how to please a woman emotionally, he will get his physical pleasure he desires. The idea is to have a balance, not one genders needs dominating the others.
Kati S says:
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:57 pm
Usually it’s women that are interested in that stuff. The reason there is so much about women’s needs is because women are more likely to have complicated, hormonal urges (don’t tell me you haven’t noticed, lol) and the first step to controlling them is to understand what we need from day to day. But I do see where you’re coming from because the only articles I can remember reading about a ‘guys needs’ were either about sex or how to keep your man happy so he stays faithful.
And if you’ve been in too many relationships where your significant other takes more than they give back, then join the club! You just have to find someone who wants a serious and balanced relationship where you can both truly be happy, even if it takes years! You can’t force a relationship to happen and expect it to work.
mehul b says:
December 24th, 2009 at 3:39 am
because they domt work.
so they just have to spice it up
and maybe becuz more men read em
Theodore H says:
December 24th, 2009 at 6:25 am
The reason most dating advice books are written for women is because that is who buys them!
Rio Madeira says:
December 24th, 2009 at 7:17 am
You’ve never seen an issue of Cosmo, have you? Almost every single headline is about how to drive HIM wild or what HE likes to hear. In fact, very little of the entire magazine is devoted to making yourself happy.
As for dating books: If you’ve ever read one, they’re also all about pleasing the man. If a woman is having problems with men, it’s almost always her fault. One wit suggested that women choose (not physically) abusive men and should just learn to live with them.
Ronnie the MLK of GWS says:
December 24th, 2009 at 10:22 am
I recently wrote a great book called “Satisfying Your Man.” Its 1 page long.