Comparing Your New Dates To Your Ex: Is It Healthy?
Aside from the rudeness factor there are plenty of great reasons you should never compare the person you’re dating after a breakup (or hope to be dating for that matter) to your ex. Take them to heart and remember them well as you dive back into the dating game after your breakup.
You and your ex are broken up. That, within itself, should be enough to make you want to avoid anybody who has anything similar with your ex. You guys didn’t work, so chances are - if you keep meeting people who resemble your ex - you’re going to be in the same ditch. Try hanging out with somebody who doesn’t bear any resemblance and things might just work out.
You and your ex are no longer together. So what’s the point of looking for something that reminds you of your previous relationship? If your ex was so awesome to begin with, why are you two not dating anymore? The fact is that the both of you had some issues and looking for somebody you can date that has the same things your ex had might turn out to be a case of history repeating itself. Why not just try to find someone different and see if things turn around?
Too much of something is bad enough. And it always is. Sure, a couple of light comparisons might be useful in a couple of situations, but once you get started and get going, there might be a problem with the stopping part. The trick is not to start. Avoid comparing people and you’ll find dating a lot easier.
You’re cheapening the dating experience. When you’re putting people on a head-to-head, somebody will always come up a winner. What happens when you realize your ex is really the one you should be spending time with since nobody compares to what you had?
You cheapen the experience. If you constantly compare two people, you might find out you prefer one more than the other. What if you find out it’s the ex you’d rather have? It cheapens the dating experience. Honor the age-old ritual and go on a date with someone no matter the similarities or differences are with your ex. Date just because you’re interested. If you stop judging and just be open, love might find you easier.
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