How to get a girlfriend

You know you made some mistakes, but now you want to get back with ex. If this is the situation you are in, it probably means you are going to have to face some pretty harsh home truths! As sure as bread is bread, making mistakes in relationships means you have to fix them and say sorry before you can make up.

Now you’ve decided you want to get back with ex, you must be ready to face not only what has gone wrong with the relationship, but also exactly what your part in the break down of that relationship was. If you made mistakes, then don’t beat yourself up for that. We all make them, it’s what you do after the mistake that’s more important.

Sit yourself down on your own and take some time to go through what happened and what the issues were that led up to the split. Don’t concern yourself too much with what you see as your ex’s mistakes, leave that for the future. Only concern yourself now with what you can influence.

Whatever mistakes you find in your past behaviour, do you think they can be forgiven? Don’t be too eager to blame yourself or believe that your mistakes are unforgivable. You would be surprised at the situations that couples find themselves in and that they later recover from. Don’t think that your mistakes are beyond forgiveness as there is always hope!

If the mistakes were completely out of character for you, then try and pin point what was happening in your life at that time. Remember what I said about facing hard truths, if you want to get back with ex, then you need to be honest with yourself and do this.

If your mistakes were the result of you just being selfish or thoughtless, then this is something about you that can quite easily be dealt with. It will need monitoring, but if you are really committed to get back with ex, then it will all be worthwhile.

You might discover that you were under certain stresses and strains. Perhaps you were under threat at your work? Or you were not physically feeling yourself? Perhaps there were other family issues? Whatever you find, when you look back at what happened you will eventually need to sit down with your ex and explain in great detail what you have realised.

When you have come to the point where you have begun to gain an insight to your mistakes, then call your ex and arrange a meeting. It is usually better to arrange a face-to-face meeting somewhere public and neutral, because then there is less chance of either of you becoming too emotional.

Just make sure that you stay focused and calm about what you want to say. Don’t forget to apologise and ask for forgiveness (even if it wasn’t all your fault) and then listen carefully to what your ex has to say.

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