How to get a girlfriend

If you want to blow some life back into the embers of an old flame, understand that sometimes the tinder is damp, and the ember is barely there. Even if you’ve reached a point where you’re constantly thinking about what you could’ve done better on the old relationship, that’s no guarantee that you can re-spark things.

Maybe you went for the other side of the fence, thinking the grass was greener. Maybe you had a small misunderstanding that spilled out of control. Maybe you look at what you had, versus what you have, and wonder how you can recover from this life choice you made. There are a few things to consider if you want to revisit the embers of old romance.

Take the time to assess what you’ve already got. Most people who regret the path not taken failed to take advantage of the opportunities before them, and they regretted it. Make sure you’re not about to give up something good now to rekindle old flames.

If you don’t want to spend your life looking backwards at your old choices, make a conscious effort to look at the life and the love you have now. It’s better to love who you’re with and make that work than to live a life of regret over a sequence of lost loves given up to short sighted goals.

It’s also worthwhile to ask if they’ve moved on. Quite honestly, time wounds all heels, and heals all wounds. Just because you’re not happy with your present partner and are longing for what you gave up doesn’t mean they’re feeling the same way about you. Trying to re-open a dormant relationship could hurt both of you.

Ask yourself if they’re happy and content. If they are, leave well enough alone. All you’ll do by dredging up might have beens is make both of you miserable. That may seem cool in movies, but it sucks in real life.

Third, understand that people change over time. Things may have happened in both of your lives that may have made you very different people. Dont do this to try and relive what once was. Try to win back lost love because you believe that your future will be better than your present and even your past with this person.

Nothing reeks more of desperation than suddenly appearing in someone else’s life. Start out slowly, read the signs carefully, and move cautiously. Even if you are obsessed and desperate, that’s only appealing in stupid movies. In real life, it’s creepy.

Take your time and dont let them know how badly you want them back, at least not for a while. Take the time to get to know them again and for them to get to know you.

As with any relationship, look forward. Forgive the past, learn from the past, and let it lie on its own. What matters is proving that the future you can have together is worth pursuing.

Last time around, you missed out because one or both of you failed to take advantage of opportunities. Move past that. Don’t try to recreate the past, all you’ll do is recreate the errors, only magnified. Live in the present and work on the future.

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