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How do you keep your children from unnecessary tattling? That’s the question may parents face as their families grow up.

One way of handling tattling is to employ “passive parenting.” It’s a technique that can be used in many situations.

Be sure to let your child know when it is appropriate to tattle and when it is not. They should tell you immediately if someone is being hurt or destructive. However, if they tattle for minor infractions, tell them they will be punished and not necessarily the person they told on.

Here’s how it should work, when your child comes to you and complains that their sister or brother is doing something you consider minor, listen to them and then make a general comment. This can be “That’s a bummer,’ or “I bet you hate when he or she does that?” A noncommittal, general statement can be used in just about any situation of unnecessary tattling. The key is not to offer to correct the situation, but to just comment on it.

If your child persists in tattling, simply repeat your noncommittal statement. They may get frustrated but it will help them to solve their own problems. This method can be effective in many situations.

In other situations, work with your children to set up house rules. For example, many children appreciate their privacy more as they grow up. Some children hate it when their siblings go in their rooms and touch their things.

After some discussion, you and your child may decide that it will be a house rule, that each child must ask permission to enter another’s bedroom.

Sibling rivalry is a permanent condition and no family is immune. It helps to teach your children not to rely on their parents to solve every problem. This will give them the gift of self reliance and confidence. It will enable them to apply these skills later in life.

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