How to get a girlfriend

Break ups are so common, but that does not imply that they don’t hurt. Indeed, a break-up can be one of the most emotionally agonizing things that a person will experience in their lives.

But why do folk split up anyhow? I have been thinking plenty about this lately and I think that I might just be onto something.

What turns our relationship from something we valued so much at the beginning, something we might jump out of bed in the morning oh so excited about, into something that could be crammed with disagreeing, quibbling, and break ups in the end?

What changed? Here are a few bits of relationship help:

Well, it’s my belief the core dynamic of a relationship shifts when we start to suspect that we know everything about our partner or when we start labeling them. This is the death nail for the attention and discovery that brings two folks together in enthusiasm and romance.

Where once you were enthusiastic to know everything about him or her, and know their every thought and opinion on things, suddenly you have labeled him as the “guy who only cares about football” or the “woman who can never remember to lock the door.”

When this occurs, we begin to basically accept that this is all of your partner actually is. You begin to see them as a cartoon of who they really are.

This leads directly to resentment. Suddenly, you find yourself thinking “If only he considered something besides the following touchdown, I would eventually have a decent relationship” or “If only I could find a woman who wasn’t so forgetful, I would not have to waste such a great deal of time cleaning up her messes.”

You begin to see this “cartoon” you’re in a committed relationship with as impeding you. Then, you stop trying and that’s when the fights start. Things go downhill and get worse.

This causes you to twist your vision of your other half more. Your generalizations about who they may be get even more extraordinary and the issues in your relationship get worse till you break up.

So , to avoid this downward slope, you need to keep yourself from painting your partner with a broad brush. Remember that they are a full human being, not a flat, 2-dimensional cartoon. Make an effort to talk with them as a person instead of flatly assuming that you know what they desire or what they are going to do. Stay curious and enjoy rediscovering who your other half is.

If you found this useful and you’d like to learn more about relationship breakdown stages, please check out my love advice blog.

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