With all the articles written, you’ve got quite a lot of material to sift through. How do you get to it, so you can get out there and start to flirt?
That’s not an easy question to answer. You should definitely focus one part at a time.
The nonverbal clues which make up the bulk of flirting are the toughest to spot.
Many men, especially those that spend time on dating sites, are too busy going through the rolodex in their heads of what to say, while they are missing signs all around them.
The first thing to consider is your venue. Are you at a place that is appropriate for flirting? And are you aware of WHO you are flirting with? A bit of awareness goes a long way. For instance, if you go to an office party and flirt with someone you don’t know without asking why they are there, it could lead to trouble.
Err on the side of caution.
Those are the formalities, however. Let’s get into the bulk of the issue - nonverbal flirting.
First, you should take some time to get used to using your eyes to flirt. Practice in the mirror. Then, start trying to make eye contact with women you find attractive.
A very powerful thing begins to happen. IF she returns eye contact, watch for her body language and other signs of interest. Many of these aren’t obvious but over time you’ll grow much more aware of how a woman is feeling.
Next, you’ll be engaging her. Remember your distance - if you get too close too soon, you’ll come off as threatening. Eventually you’ll be able to move closer, but not immediately.
When you begin your chat, be aware of your posture, and more importantly hers. Is she no longer facing you? Does her body language not match yours? Time to check your own body language, and see if you are following the rules of verbal flirting too.
How are your gestures? Are you presenting yourself in an engaging manner? And how are you responding to her when she’s talking? If you emphasize your interest, you’ll fare far better.
Take a look at your facial expressions. Have you practiced them?
When you feel comfortable with using your eyes while flirting, the next step would be to focus on body language. Your posture, gestures, and facial expressions. Use the mirror!
Before you move into the realm of touching, you should have the body language of flirting down. While you may spontaneously advance past that in a flirt, then don’t worry, move on and do your best.
It’s best to break the pieces into their interactive parts. The nonverbal will go together with some of the speaking. Touching is an advancement, as is the opening words you use.
Once you get to the point of touching, you should be ready to move into the next group of parts. Touching, vocal signals, as well as verbal flirting.
The reason to do it this way is simple: By clustering the nonverbal flirting parts together, you’ll gain a greater sense of social interaction. You’ll be able to gauge her responses better. And you won’t be worrying about what to say during this time.
Touching signals the next step, and it’s a great way to advance with your verbal flirting. It goes without saying, however, that you might move into deeper practice WITHOUT touching. Some interactions are touchy - she might be a on the fence, and by touching you could push it in the wrong direction.
Vocal signaling and verbal flirting go hand in hand, obviously. Practicing them together makes sense.
Practice openers, so they sound natural. Once the interaction starts, be mindful of how your vocal signals are coming out, and check to make sure you are turn taking.
When talking is happening, be mindful of the content of your words. Is the interaction positive? Are you being an attentive listener when it is her turn?
Sprinkled in should be humor - are you being droll, or are you making things more lighthearted?
When it’s time, are you initiating reciprocal disclosure?
So in closing, three different groups of pieces: Nonverbal, verbal (with vocal/touching), and then humor/disclosure/parting.
Practice each group individually, then as a whole. It will soon become easy! Good luck with your flirting!
