Can you remember the last time you sat there forever and thought about what to write in an email to that gorgeous woman on your preferred online dating site that caught your attention?
I know I have, and I know how bad it sucks.
That all stopped for me though when I figured out certain types of messages work, but most end up in a woman’s deleted folder. Man it feels good to know which is which now. It’s a pricless feeling that I want to pass on to you.
And those tons of emails that get deleted daily contain common themes that many guys keep sending out time and time again, and time after time they fail. I’m going to list those common pitfalls here for you so you can avoid them and avoid getting deleted:
The first things to stay away from are cliche nicknames. Women don’t like being called baby, sweetie, honey, gorgeous, ma or anything similar from someone they’re not already dating. Putting these in your email is usually an immediate deal breaker.
On a similar note, overdoing the physical compliments is a big “no no”. Even more so than offline, women get bombarded with compliments online. On top of all the guys that would normally give her compliments, now you have others that may be scared to do it in person, telling her just how beautiful she is. Not only does it lump you in with all those other guys she’s rejected, it makes her think you’re only interested in her looks, which is not good.
Avoid short messages. A short one liner like, “Hey how’s it going” is not usually going be enough to get a reply unless your profile and photos are really top notch. Even in that case, you will do much better by composing better messages.
Conversely, a three paragraph essay will come across as trying way too hard and also creepy to many women. This is like saying hi to someone in real life. In that situation you wouldn’t give them a five minute monologue, but that’s basically what you’re doing when you send her a really long message.
Just like in your profile don’t complain or mention anything negative in the first message. This will turn a woman off, and you won’t get a response.
Don’t use sarcasm. It has worked for me a few times, but overall sarcasm relies heavily on your body language, facial expression and tone of voice to come across right. You don’t have any of these online, so I think more often than not it just comes across as mean and offensive, causing women to instantly delete your message.
The final mistake to avoid is trying to get the woman to meet you or give you her number in your first communication. Some women are willing to do these things quicker than others, but almost none will do it after the first message. So not only will you be wasting your time, in most cases instead of just saying she would like to wait, she will simply delete your email and never respond. She does this instead of having to deal with a potentially awkward situation.
Now you are aware of what to avoid in your first email, however it’s crucial that you also know what to include in those messages to start getting women responding back to your email. Read Michael Kendricks article What To Write In Your First Email To A Woman Online for critical things to include in your email so you’re getting dates and not getting deleted.
